By Marian Edelbrock, PhD, San Digo Miramar College

Father’s Day dates back to the middle ages when on March 19 it was celebrated as the feast day of Saint Joseph. It is celebrated worldwide on various dates but in Latin America was adopted from the March date celebrated by the founding Spanish and Portuguese explorers. However, it was not celebrated in the United States until the 20^th Century.

In the US, Father’s Day, which we will be celebrating this Sunday, originally evolved as a memorial. Back in 1907, Grace Clayton proposed a day in remembrance of 360 men lost in a mine explosion in Fairmont, West Virginia, which left many children fatherless. In 1909, a year after Mother’s Day became officially accepted, Sonora Smart Dodd of Spokane, Washington, was listening to a Mother’s Day sermon at her church. She admired her father for raising his six children alone so she decided she wanted to honor her father and all others in a similar way. She promoted her idea to local clergymen who agreed that a day would be chosen to honor all fathers and on June 19, 1910, sermons honoring fathers were presented throughout the city.

Although the event lost momentum for a decade, in the 1930s, Dodd re-promoted the celebration, with other cities across the country copying this event. Merchants encouraged the commercial aspect of the holiday, introducing a bill in Congress in 1913 to recognize Father’s Day. However, Congress resisted due to a concern for the risk of excessive commercialism. In 1924, President Coolidge recommended that the day be observed throughout the entire nation but Congress defeated several attempts to formally recognize the holiday.  In 1966, President Johnson issued the first presidential proclamation honoring fathers and designated the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day. The day became a permanent national holiday when it was signed into law by President Nixon in 1972, formally recognizing the role that fathers have played in our lives.

May brings Mother’s Day. June brings Father’s Day. Both months are filled with abundant family activities – weddings, graduations, the end of the school year, the beginning of summer. Among national recognitions at this time of year is National Foster Care Month in May. Here at SAY San Diego, we celebrate the essential value and importance of family every day, and affirm family as self-defined, composed of members who are significant to one another whether related by blood, legal bonds, or bonds of caring. It is, therefore joyful for us to step back at this time to celebrate the season of the family.

In our everyday work, family resilience, family well-being, and supporting families in the many complicated tasks of raising the next generation are a central focus. Several SAY San Diego programs are premised on the evidence and science of family strengthening, including Community Services for Families, First 5 First Steps, Project KEEP, and multi-solution/multi-agency work conducted by SAY San Diego’s Crawford Community Connection, Military Family Resource Center, O’Farrell Family Support Services, and Serra Real Connections.  All of these programs take into account that children do well when families do well, and families do well when they are connected to supportive communities and systems.

Why conduct family strengthening interventions? Recently someone asked me, “How can you teach parenting? Why would families listen? Do parents really change their approach…after all don’t we all just do what our parents did?” There’s a saying, often credited to an anonymous source, which fits here: “the problem with being a parent is that by the time you are experienced, you are usually unemployed!” Until the art of parenting comes with a full-proof operating manual that forecasts everything, family strengthening work helps to take the place of that operating manual. The practice honors the family, however defined, in the herculean mission of raising children – providing coaching, educational resources, counseling, services, connections and networks to enable each and every parent to be the best they can be.

SAY San Diego has the important and sensitive role of serving as a mental health (and behavioral health) resource and provider for children, youth, and families across the County. During May, Mental Health Awareness Month, we wish to highlight some of our mental health and behavioral health treatment resources for the community.

Our school-based mental health program connects youth and their families to assessment and therapy to overcome mental health challenges and empowers them to live up to their full potential in school and at home. Appointment times are flexible, and services are culturally and linguistically appropriate. Client- and family-driven services are provided at home, work, or at designated school sites.

We have many SAY San Diego programs which promote mental well-being, focuses on treatment and recovery for court-involved youth. Reflections offers a collaborative approach with County Probation and the County Office of Education for youth ages 12–17 and their families. Participants receive support from a highly skilled team of probation officers, therapists, a psychiatrist, substance abuse counselors, and teachers. At Reflections, we have emphasized the unique value of therapeutic writing which enables teens to express their own realities including isolation, fear, and anxiety, as well as their hopes for connection and change.

By Kat Brown
Community Engagement Specialist at SAY San Diego Military Family Collaborative

Mother’s Day is coming soon. As a military spouse, my husband has missed more holidays and birthdays than I count. But somehow his missing Mother’s Day seems like an especially cruel slap in the face. This is supposed to be my day—a day dedicated to pampering and breakfast in bed and maybe a couple hours of quiet time to myself. Not a day to again be the sole caregiver; holding tight to my daughter as we both wish for Daddy to come home.

Mother’s Day is bittersweet for so many military spouses like me who are missing the other half of their parenting team. Or on the flip side, there’s the mom who’s stuck out to sea or half a world away wishing like anything that she could hold her beautiful babies in her arms. And then there are the moms who have lost their children to these wars. This day is painful for them in a way that not many of us can understand. I weep at the thought of it.

Oftentimes I hear from non-military friends that they want to support, but they just don’t know how. That makes sense. This life is so difficult to understand for those who have never served. The military community in itself is extremely supportive, and they “get it” in a way that my civilian friends just don’t.  But, this Mother’s Day, I thought I’d share a few thoughts on how you can help the military mommas in your life:

By SAY San Diego Community Assessment Team Plus (CAT+)

Start the Conversation: Teens talk to their parents about sex are more likely to delay sexual activity, have fewer partners, and use condoms and other contraceptives when they do have sex.

Alcohol and Sex: Youth who drink alcohol are more likely to have unplanned and unprotected sexual activity. Talking about these issues can help teens make healthier decisions.

Peer Pressure: Some teenagers decide to have sexual relationships because their friends think sex is cool and everyone is doing it. The truth is only about 47% of teenagers reported ever having sex. Talking about the facts including why more than half of all teenagers decide to wait can help them to determine their own values.

Educate Yourself: Some parents worry that they won’t know the answers to their teen’s questions. The best way to teach kids about sexuality is to find the answers together and discuss the research together.

How do I talk to my teen? Check out these resources and videos from Planned Parenthood.

Each and every day, here at SAY San Diego, our volunteers and interns give the abundant gifts of their talent and time to caring for their neighbors and lifting the lives of the children, youth, and families that we serve. Volunteers and interns form the heart of our community at SAY San Diego—and each year, they outnumber paid staff by about 150%. Among their many contributions to our clients and community, volunteers provide tutoring, tax assistance, counseling, lead youth development activities, organize and run events, conduct research, and much more.

SAY San Diego’s commitment to enriching the lives of children and youth, supporting their healthy development, and making life a bit easier for working families includes our major extended-learning programs before and after school. All facts point to the resulting afterschool advantage. Effective afterschool programs, like ours, boost academic performance, particularly in the key areas of reading and math. They also improve attendance, school engagement, personal aspirations, and positive health outcomes—including improved diet and exercise habits, healthy peer relationships, graduating high school, and attending post-secondary school—while reducing risk factors.[i]

It may seem that by middle school (6^th or 7^th grade) kids have outgrown afterschool programs, but the research is compelling as to why there’s a significant afterschool advantage for middle schoolers.

By Donna Wilson, Child & Youth Development Program Supervisor, with special thanks to teacher Susan Bulloch and retired teacher Donna Moyer for their contributions.

Studies show that children’s academic achievement is directly influenced by their parents’ involvement in their education. Learn how you can bolster your student for success.

A Teacher’s Expectation of Parents

Students, teachers, and parents all share responsibility in the education of a child. As a parent, here’s a minimum level of involvement most teachers expect: