By Suzie Colby, Vice President Resource Development

“Life is not a problem. It can be a challenge, but you can always find your way.”
– Iris, Working Mom and SAY Client

 For Iris, these words of wisdom guide her life and help her to keep her two sons on the right path. Behind the words lies an unyielding optimism and desire to succeed which she learned from her grandfather, a self-made man who was locally famous for his successful market and butcher shop in Mexicali. These traits helped Iris through significant challenges when she became a struggling single parent who sometimes failed to make ends meet.

Iris remembers a near-breaking point for her 14 and nine-year old children when she told them that they all were moving into a homeless shelter. Instead of focusing on negatives, Iris saw the three-month period as an opportunity to save money and find a job with more hours and better pay. She also turned the shelter experience into something positive for her boys, by refusing to let them dwell on the stigma of being homeless. “I would wake them up in the morning and tell them we were going for a walk.  We would walk to the ocean and learn instead of thinking about all of our problems and sitting in the shelter. You don’t need money to learn things. Homelessness is a process and you just find a way out.”

Iris connected with SAY San Diego’s Family Self Sufficiency (FSS) program as part of her plan to move beyond part-time work and find stable housing. The FSS program pairs case workers with unemployed or under-employed San Diegans who are looking to explore new personal and professional opportunities. FSS provides emergency assistance, job leads and referrals, free tax preparation, education and career guidance. For Iris, the individualized support she received from her FSS case manager was key. She received assistance with job leads, resume writing, emergency food, transportation (gas cards), and school supplies for her sons.

Today, Iris is employed by a major hotel chain and went from a seasonal employee to full-time in a matter of months. “I went to the supervisor and told her that I didn’t want to be seasonal and that I wasn’t leaving. I liked the company and wanted to stay.” Iris proudly adds that she will qualify for management training after one year. “I told my supervisor that I have my calendar marked for that.”

While Iris loves her new job, she believes education is king. “I’m going to get my bachelor’s. It might take me a long time, but I’m going to get it.” Her advice to her sons and other young people, including single moms like her, relates to education, which she believes gives you more choices and chances.

What seemed like a distant possibility is now a reality for Iris. She has a steady income, and she and her boys live in their own apartment in North Park.  Iris is a voracious reader, an avid runner and planner, always thinking about the next mile. “Read. Run. Keep busy.” Iris explains. “That’s how I live my life.”

Iris is one of nearly 500 people who are helped by SAY San Diego’s FSS program annually. SAY offers more than 30 programs that invest in the success of youth, families, and communities every day.

For more information about the Family Self-Sufficiency program, contact Melanie von Schroter, 858-565-4148 x281.

Youth = Powerful Advocates for Change

From Nancy Gannon Hornberger, CEO

Do you know about Advocates for Change Today (ACT)? ACT is a youth-led effort, staffed and convened by SAY San Diego, and devoted to improving community health and safety, especially in the area of drug and alcohol abuse prevention. ACT operates year-round and involves youth leaders, ages 12-16, as part of SAY’s larger Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drug prevention programs in the Central Region.

In June 2017, ACT said a fond farewell to their graduating seniors, but with the addition of 10 new high school youth members and two new middle schoolers, the program is busier than ever! They focus on prevention by acting to improve the community environment in City Heights. In addition to leading peer workshops on topics such as the dangers of impaired driving and drug- and violence-free prom and graduation, ACT youth leaders also engage the larger community. To raise awareness and active concern among community and business partners, ACT members designed hanger tags and colorful posters as platforms for their advocacy and made connections at frequently-visited community spaces – including Hoover High, City Heights Library, Fair@44 and the YMCA, as well as businesses including Tasty Pizza, Yum Yum Yo Boba Shop, Starbucks, Denny’s, El Super, Jamba Juice and CVS – asking management to display them in high-visibility areas where teens tend to congregate.

We are especially proud that ACT youth recently had the opportunity to present their achievements at the county-wide Youth Leadership Partnership Meeting, and to attend La Colonia Eden Gardens Leadership Camp in Julian. Future ACT youth-led projects include conducting store assessments of all liquor stores and markets on El Cajon Blvd. to support the Live Well San Diego Community Market Program, and promoting Prescription Drug Take Back Day (October 28, 2017) as part of Binational Health Week.

For more information on SAY San Diego’s youth-led Advocates for Change Today (ACT), please contact: Demaris (Demi) Climax, dclimax@saysandiego.org, 619-283-9624 ext. 384

By SAY San Diego Board Member, LaDreda Lewis.  

SAY San Diego was thrilled to receive a grant from Northrop Grumman to host the second annual Grand STEM Challenge Camp, in partnership with Sylvan Learning of La Mesa.  The STEM Camp – focused on Science, Technology, Engineering and Math — was held at the Jacobs Center for Neighborhood Innovation for two weeks, July 10-14 and July 17-21. The focus of this year’s STEM Camp was to engage groups that are underrepresented in STEM education and careers throughout every aspect of the program.

The Grand STEM Challenge Camp uses a project-based learning approach in which students are taught engineering skills through examining a problem which needs to be solved. The week-long camp was set up so that on days 1-2, students were taught the engineering process through “mini-design challenges.” On day 3, a main challenge was introduced: “Build a machine out of K’NEX and other materials that can move a ping pong ball from a six-inch space at one end of a table to a six-inch space at the other end of the table. The ball cannot be touched, must be started with an outside force and cannot fall off the table or bounce back.” Students spent days 3-4 designing, testing and redesigning their machines. Day 5 was the final build and competition day. Participants included 60 students entering grades 3-8. Week one included a group of African American youth from The Links to STEM program and an all girls’ group formed with the support of BeWise (Better Education for Women in Science and Engineering). Week two included 7^th and 8^th graders from O’Farrell Charter Middle School linked to SAY San Diego’s program there, as well as participants were selected by Sylvan from students whose families previously worked with Sylvan through the San Diego Unified School District’s Supplemental Education Services (SES) and students from the Jacobs Center’s programs.

By Cindy C. Butler, Public Affairs Director, VA San Diego Healthcare System

As Independence Day approaches, we think about the iconic saying, “Freedom Isn’t Free.” As we commemorate the holiday, let’s think about the brave men and women who are currently serving and those who have served our nation around the world to protect the American way of life. They are often away from their families for long periods of time while deployed to distant lands, which creates immense hardships for service members and their families. Many service members in combat zones are at incredible risk and often come back from service with both physical and psychological wounds that may impact them for the rest of their lives. Yet, others pay the ultimate sacrifice and never came home.

These sacrifices are what is meant by the saying, “Freedom Isn’t Free.” Each of them “at one point in their life wrote a blank check made payable to ‘The United States of America’ for an amount up to and including their life.” But, when asked, these American heroes will say they are proud to have served and that they would gladly do it again. We owe these service members, veterans and their families a priceless debt – our very way of life, our freedom, and we should never take for granted the sacrifices they’ve made for every American. This Fourth of July, take a moment to honor all service members and veterans for their contributions to our freedom and American way of life.  They paid the price for our freedom.

As we close the books on the fiscal year ending June 30, 2017, and enter our 47^th year of operations, all of us at SAY San Diego – including our Board of Directors, 480+ staff members and 700+ volunteers and interns – join me to express our deep gratitude for your phenomenal support that truly fuels our work. Especially during these uncertain times for nonprofit funding, our many program participants, community partners, and key investors across all sectors of human services help us to ensure that we continue to have life-changing impacts. This is indeed a cause for celebration! 

New pathways to independence and freedom from stress and fear

For thousands of youth and families each year, SAY San Diego’s extensive case management services create new pathways to independence, and to freedom from stress and fear. We recognize that no one wants their situation to be known as a “case” – yet, excellence in case management is core to our approach and our mission to partner with youth, adults, and families and enable them to reach their full potential. It is a collaborative process of assessing, planning, facilitating, coordinating and advocating for options and services, in and outside of SAY San Diego, which meets an individual’s and family’s comprehensive needs and enables them to achieve sustainable opportunity, equity, and well-being.

By Marian Edelbrock, PhD, San Digo Miramar College

Father’s Day in the United States began in Spokane, Washington, on June 19, 1910, when Sonora Smart Dodd organized a day to honor her father, a Civil War veteran who raised six children on his own. After decades of public debate, it became a permanent national holiday in 1972, observed on the third Sunday in June.

Where Did Father’s Day Come From?

Father’s Day dates back to the Middle Ages, when it was celebrated on March 19 as the feast day of Saint Joseph. It is celebrated worldwide on various dates, and several countries, including Spain, Portugal, Italy, Bolivia, and Honduras, still celebrate it on March 19. However, it was not celebrated in the United States until the 20th century.

How Was Father’s Day Created in the United States?

In the US, Father’s Day originally evolved as a memorial. In December 1907, a mine explosion in Monongah, West Virginia, killed 361 men and left many children fatherless. Grace Golden Clayton proposed a day in their remembrance, and a service was held on July 5, 1908, at Williams Memorial Methodist Episcopal Church South in nearby Fairmont.

In 1909, a year after the first Mother’s Day was celebrated, Sonora Smart Dodd of Spokane, Washington, was listening to a Mother’s Day sermon at Central Methodist Episcopal Church. She admired her father, William Jackson Smart, for raising his six children alone, so she decided she wanted to honor her father and all others in a similar way. She promoted her idea to local clergymen and the Spokane YMCA, who agreed that a day would be chosen to honor all fathers, and on June 19, 1910, sermons honoring fathers were presented throughout the city.

When Did Father’s Day Become a National Holiday?

A bill to recognize Father’s Day was introduced in Congress as early as 1913. Although the event lost momentum for a decade, in the 1930s Dodd re-promoted the celebration, with other cities across the country copying this event. Merchants encouraged the commercial aspect of the holiday, and beginning in 1938, the Father’s Day Council, founded by New York menswear retailers, helped promote it. However, many Americans and members of Congress resisted due to a concern for the risk of excessive commercialism. In 1924, President Coolidge recommended that the day be observed throughout the entire nation, but Congress defeated several attempts to formally recognize the holiday. In 1966, President Lyndon B. Johnson issued the first presidential proclamation honoring fathers and designated the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day. The day became a permanent national holiday when it was signed into law by President Nixon in 1972, formally recognizing the role that fathers have played in our lives.

How Is Father’s Day Celebrated Around the World?

Many countries, including the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom, celebrate Father’s Day on the third Sunday in June, but the date and traditions vary around the world:

• Spain, Portugal, and Italy celebrate on March 19, Saint Joseph’s Day, keeping the day’s religious roots.
• Germany celebrates Vatertag on Ascension Day, the Thursday 40 days after Easter, which is also a public holiday.
• Brazil celebrates on the second Sunday of August.
• Australia and New Zealand celebrate on the first Sunday of September.
• Thailand celebrates on December 5, the birthday of the late King Bhumibol Adulyadej.

Remembering Military Families on Father’s Day

It is fitting that we consider the role of remembrance on Father’s Day, as we think of our military fathers and mothers. For many in San Diego, military service has meant that our fathers and mothers have had to play a very different role on days such as this. Many fathers have made the ultimate sacrifice or cannot come home to be with their families, leaving their children to watch other families in celebration. However, we can commemorate the day in an appreciation of the person we love, having fun, positive experiences that we can record, share, or send out our joy to the universe. SAY San Diego offers resources and support for military families across the county.

When Father’s Day Is Difficult

For some, Father’s Day may hold painful memories – just as the origins of the day held. Not everyone has a father in their lives or happy memories of the person who was their father. Think of the child who does not have a father to give the school Father’s Day project to. What if your father is estranged, lives far away, you never knew him, or has died? Spending time and energy in positive thoughts promotes forgiveness and healing, whereas holding in negativity and resentment is stressful and destructive at a cellular level. Finding a way to create a positive day may be the best way to promote healing and joy in our lives and for those around us.

Most of us can think of someone who has played a fatherly role in our lives, giving of himself, offering advice and support when we needed it most. Today, many families celebrate stepfathers, grandfathers, fathers-in-law, uncles, and mentors on Father’s Day, too. Perhaps this surrogate father can provide the focus for our thanksgiving.

Ways to Celebrate and Remember the Fathers in Your Life

Here are some ways to mark the day in memory of the fathers in our lives:

• Give something of yourself as a gift – a present can be the gift of time, to someone whose fathering role has made a difference in your life
• Perform a random act of kindness in memory of your father
• Take him breakfast in bed – it’s not just for mothers! Or make him his favorite treat or dessert, or go on a picnic.
• Do you have any old videos or photos of when you were a child? Watch them with him if he is still in your life, or watch and remember him
• If he is still in your life, make a video or audio recording of him telling a story or joke. If he is not in your life, record one of your memories or thoughts of him that you can review in subsequent years
• BBQ for your father – if he is in your life, invite him there or ask a surrogate father to join you for a celebratory meal
• Write him an essay, letter, or poem – if he is no longer in your life, share it with someone for whom you care
• Write down the major lessons your father or father figure has taught you and illustrate with pictures or photos for your father or others to read
• Hang out with your father. Set aside “unplugged time” with him and do something he enjoys – perhaps play a game, go outdoors, go to the beach, watch a movie, or play some sport together
• Show your appreciation by telling him what he means to you
• For those whose father is not with them, spend some time in meditation or mindful practice, sending positive messages of thanks for the father figures we have had in our lives

Supporting Dads and Fatherhood in San Diego

Father’s Day is also a good reminder that dads need support, too. SAY San Diego’s Dads Corps is a free program open to all fathers, including civilian dads, active duty and veteran dads, and dads-to-be. It uses a nationally recognized parenting curriculum and offers in-person and virtual classes, along with connections to employment and legal resources. Learn more about how Dads Corps supports San Diego fathers, or find family support close to home at one of SAY’s Family Resource Centers.

Father’s Day FAQs

Who invented Father’s Day?

Sonora Smart Dodd of Spokane, Washington, is credited with founding Father’s Day in the United States. Inspired by a 1909 Mother’s Day sermon, she wanted to honor her father, a Civil War veteran who raised six children on his own. The first Father’s Day was celebrated in Spokane on June 19, 1910. A year earlier, Grace Golden Clayton had organized a memorial service for fathers in Fairmont, West Virginia.

When did Father’s Day become a national holiday?

Father’s Day became a permanent national holiday in 1972, when President Richard Nixon signed it into law. President Lyndon B. Johnson had issued the first presidential proclamation honoring fathers in 1966, designating the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day. Earlier efforts, including a bill introduced in Congress in 1913, did not pass.

Why did it take so long for Father’s Day to become official?

Many Americans and members of Congress resisted Father’s Day at first because they worried it would become overly commercial, simply copying the gift-giving success of Mother’s Day. President Calvin Coolidge recommended the day be observed nationally in 1924, but Congress defeated several attempts to formally recognize it until 1972.

When is Father’s Day celebrated?

In the United States, Father’s Day is celebrated every year on the third Sunday in June. Many other countries, including Canada and the United Kingdom, use the same date, while others celebrate on March 19 (Saint Joseph’s Day), in August, or in September.

SAY San Diego believes in the development of self-sufficiency, strengthening families, and parenting support. So it is fitting that SAY San Diego celebrates the many victories of the fathers it serves, who have come to rely on its positive and enduring support, by wishing all fathers a “Happy Father’s Day!”

May brings Mother’s Day. June brings Father’s Day. Both months are filled with abundant family activities – weddings, graduations, the end of the school year, the beginning of summer. Among national recognitions at this time of year is National Foster Care Month in May. Here at SAY San Diego, we celebrate the essential value and importance of family every day, and affirm family as self-defined, composed of members who are significant to one another whether related by blood, legal bonds, or bonds of caring. It is, therefore joyful for us to step back at this time to celebrate the season of the family.

In our everyday work, family resilience, family well-being, and supporting families in the many complicated tasks of raising the next generation are a central focus. Several SAY San Diego programs are premised on the evidence and science of family strengthening, including Community Services for Families, First 5 First Steps, Project KEEP, and multi-solution/multi-agency work conducted by SAY San Diego’s Crawford Community Connection, Military Family Resource Center, O’Farrell Family Support Services, and Serra Real Connections.  All of these programs take into account that children do well when families do well, and families do well when they are connected to supportive communities and systems.

Why conduct family strengthening interventions? Recently someone asked me, “How can you teach parenting? Why would families listen? Do parents really change their approach…after all don’t we all just do what our parents did?” There’s a saying, often credited to an anonymous source, which fits here: “the problem with being a parent is that by the time you are experienced, you are usually unemployed!” Until the art of parenting comes with a full-proof operating manual that forecasts everything, family strengthening work helps to take the place of that operating manual. The practice honors the family, however defined, in the herculean mission of raising children – providing coaching, educational resources, counseling, services, connections and networks to enable each and every parent to be the best they can be.

SAY San Diego has the important and sensitive role of serving as a mental health (and behavioral health) resource and provider for children, youth, and families across the County. During May, Mental Health Awareness Month, we wish to highlight some of our mental health and behavioral health treatment resources for the community.

Our school-based mental health program connects youth and their families to assessment and therapy to overcome mental health challenges and empowers them to live up to their full potential in school and at home. Appointment times are flexible, and services are culturally and linguistically appropriate. Client- and family-driven services are provided at home, work, or at designated school sites.

We have many SAY San Diego programs which promote mental well-being, focuses on treatment and recovery for court-involved youth. Reflections offers a collaborative approach with County Probation and the County Office of Education for youth ages 12–17 and their families. Participants receive support from a highly skilled team of probation officers, therapists, a psychiatrist, substance abuse counselors, and teachers. At Reflections, we have emphasized the unique value of therapeutic writing which enables teens to express their own realities including isolation, fear, and anxiety, as well as their hopes for connection and change.

By Kat Brown
Community Engagement Specialist at SAY San Diego Military Family Collaborative

Mother’s Day is coming soon. As a military spouse, my husband has missed more holidays and birthdays than I count. But somehow his missing Mother’s Day seems like an especially cruel slap in the face. This is supposed to be my day—a day dedicated to pampering and breakfast in bed and maybe a couple hours of quiet time to myself. Not a day to again be the sole caregiver; holding tight to my daughter as we both wish for Daddy to come home.

Mother’s Day is bittersweet for so many military spouses like me who are missing the other half of their parenting team. Or on the flip side, there’s the mom who’s stuck out to sea or half a world away wishing like anything that she could hold her beautiful babies in her arms. And then there are the moms who have lost their children to these wars. This day is painful for them in a way that not many of us can understand. I weep at the thought of it.

Oftentimes I hear from non-military friends that they want to support, but they just don’t know how. That makes sense. This life is so difficult to understand for those who have never served. The military community in itself is extremely supportive, and they “get it” in a way that my civilian friends just don’t.  But, this Mother’s Day, I thought I’d share a few thoughts on how you can help the military mommas in your life:

By SAY San Diego Community Assessment Team Plus (CAT+)

Start the Conversation: Teens talk to their parents about sex are more likely to delay sexual activity, have fewer partners, and use condoms and other contraceptives when they do have sex.

Alcohol and Sex: Youth who drink alcohol are more likely to have unplanned and unprotected sexual activity. Talking about these issues can help teens make healthier decisions.

Peer Pressure: Some teenagers decide to have sexual relationships because their friends think sex is cool and everyone is doing it. The truth is only about 47% of teenagers reported ever having sex. Talking about the facts including why more than half of all teenagers decide to wait can help them to determine their own values.

Educate Yourself: Some parents worry that they won’t know the answers to their teen’s questions. The best way to teach kids about sexuality is to find the answers together and discuss the research together.

How do I talk to my teen? Check out these resources and videos from Planned Parenthood.